It was pay day this week so I’ve finally been able to afford to buy and eat vegetables. This sudden influx in vitamins and minerals have given me a sharp burst of energy and motivation in which to waste my wages once again. Probably on this lot.
Burns Night
Friday 25th January
Anyone who ever watched Hamish Macbeth on a Sunday night in 1995 will know that the Scottish are a lovely bunch, always up for a laugh and generally quite brilliant. They are also fiercely proud of their history and heritage, especially all of the bits where us English fucked them over – basically giving them free reign to hate us for the rest of time. One fella that they don’t hate though is Robert Burns, and on his birthday every year people get together to eat haggis, drink whisky and recite some of his poetry while wearing a kilt. As an Englishman it all goes over my head really, but it provides the perfect excuse to eat Haggis with everything, sup Irn Bru and chew on Highland Toffee until my teeth bleed. There’s a couple of Burns Night events going on around Manchester, most noticeably at The Creameries with whisky tasting and Scottish canapés.
Manchester Beer & Cider Festival
Friday 25th & Saturday 26th January
Technically this festival of beer and cider started last week, opening up on Thursday evening for a nice dose of craft and cask goodness. I forgot all about it last week though so you’re getting it here – and I suppose the bulk of people who are going will be turning up either on Friday or Saturday anyway (so as then not to have to worry about hanging out of your arse at work). There is a promise of over 700 beers and ciders to choose from across 20 bars which, if you’re asking me is too much if anything. They have breweries coming from all over the country to show off what they’ve been cooking up in their pots, bath tubs and wheelie bins. If you don’t manage to buy a ticket online below – just go pay on the door.
GRUB ExtraVEGANza Part V
Friday 25th – Sunday 27th January
If we’re all not Vegan by the end of the year, I’ll eat my hat. Luckily my hat is made from 100% natural fibres that have never been anywhere near any animals, dairy or eggs. Veganism is everywhere these days, with even many of the city’s lovely street food traders finally embracing it’s pull. So this weekend sees GRUB host part 5 of their ExtraVEGANza down at the Fairfield Social Club complete with all of your favourite GRUB touches. Alongside the 100% vegan street food stalls will be vegan booze, DJ’s, dogs, cats, rainbows and all manner of exciting occurrences. The brilliant Wholesome Junkies will be there, alongside Wallace & Sons, Seitan’s Kebab and Yakumama – as well as a few other traders who I’ve not had chance to try yet.
BROS: After The Screaming Stops – The Club Night @ The Deaf Institute
Saturday 26th January
The BBC Documentary on Bros just before Christmas was the gift that just kept on giving. Following Matt & Luke Goss (where the EFF was Craig Logan!?!) as they ‘got the band back together’ for one final gig at the O2. My favourite parts were when Matt & Luke (separately) came back to the UK and were greeted by a whole gang of ‘Brosettes’. The look on their faces when it finally dawned on them that all of those young, pretty girls from the early 90’s had turned into toothless crones and dinner ladies was brilliant. Well worth watching it just for that. Anyhow, Hattie at Girls on Film is putting on a Bros night this Saturday complete with a full Bros kit out, a couple of look-a-likes, outfit prizes and best of all – a JUSTICE FOR CONKERS petition table. Brilliant.
Superman: The Movie
Saturday 26th January
There’s a bit at the end of every Superman film where Christopher Reeve is flying above the Earth (in space!?!) and as he approaches the camera he looks directly at it and gives a million-dollar smile to any kids that are watching at home or in the cinema. I think the reason I was such a fan of these films as a kid was because my mum absolutely loved that bit – she basically sat on the sofa and did some knitting until that bit came on, becoming all attentive – waiting for Reevesey Boy to whack her a look at his gnashers. It will come as no surprise then if you see her at the Odeon this week as they’re showing the first Superman in all of its big screen glory. There’s not many tickets left so be quick!
Andy Smith at Honey Trap Club
Saturday 26 January
Who is Andy Smith I hear many of you say? Is it your dad’s mate from the pub? The one that got Debbie from the deli counter at Morrisons pregnant? No. It’s not him, it’s the other Andy Smith – the renowned DJ, producer, radio show presenter and the tour DJ & beat/sample finder for Portishead. Someone who would be a much more welcome presence on a night out, especially if he’s messing about with some form of knob, dial or turntable. He’ll be hitting up new Northern Quarter haunt the Honey Trap Club this Saturday with a mix of hip-hop, soul and funk from 9pm. I should probably take this opportunity to point out that the place will be open until 3am and it’s FREE to get in.
The Royal Rumble 2019
Sunday 27th January
I’m sure most of you reading this won’t even know what a Royal Rumble is. In fact, out of the two people that actually read this, it’s only my mate Jonny who will know what this is and get excited, my mum couldn’t care less – especially considering Christopher Reeve isn’t involved in it. It’s wrestling. A bunch of muscly blokes with long hair, prancing around in their gruds, covering in baby oil. It’s all very butch and the Royal Rumble is one of the biggest events of the WWF calendar. The premise is that 30 wrestlers get in the ring and try to throw each other over the top rope until there is only one left. It’s a lot of fun to enjoy with friends, colleagues or loved ones whilst eating fried snacks and drinking fizzy beer. Head on down to Bierkeller, The Footage or The Courtyard to watch it.
Jersey Boys
From Tuesday 29th January
The story of Frankie Valli (and the 4 Seasons), Jersey Boys is an all-singing, all-dancing musical featuring the hits of err… Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons. I’ve never actually seen it, usually just reserving my one musical performance each year for the obligatory Oldham Coliseum production of Grease, but I’ve heard it’s well worth a watch. Presented from each of the band-members perspective (as one of the four actual seasons) the storyline is all about how the band got together and how they broke up, alongside all the hits you know and love. The musical features the song ‘December 1963 (Oh, What A Night)‘ which was officially placed in the Top 5 Best Songs of All Time by me in 2004.
None Deck with Andy Burnham
Wednesday 30th January
Any mention of Andy Burnham on any of our social media channels usually uncovers a small band of people who like to be rather negative. I’m being kind saying that actually, in reality it’s just people getting disproportionately angry about things that no Facebook comment or Tweet is ever going to solve. Andy Burnham is the current Mayor of Greater Manchester and as such many have decided that it’s unacceptable for him to go down to Electrik in Chorlton to get involved in their coveted One Deck Wednesday evening. As far as I’m concerned he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t, so just let him get involved and enjoy himself. It should be a cracking night too, with additional music support from Chris Massey and The Unabombers and not forgetting – it’s FREE.
Brady, Hindley, Shipman, the Ripper, the Hangman & the Unmentionable One Walk
Thursday 31st January
True crime is all the rage at the minute, not only is Netflix bashing out as much of the stuff as possible, there are also a host of podcasts such as My Favourite Murder, The Last Podcast on the Left and Teacher’s Pet which have managed to capture people’s excitement and fascination with serial killers and mad heads. Even we’ve started doing it with our ‘Manchester’s Vilest’ series. So this walk from the gang at New Manchester Walks should be of interest to many as they look to take a trip around the dark underbelly of the city, regaling stories of public hangings, serial killers, and all the complete dick heads that have sullied the name of our good city over the last 100 years.
